What's this about "Free Milk?"

For those of you who have asked me what "free milk" means, bless your hearts. You see, I am apparently a cow. Cows have milk. I am currently giving that milk away for "free." I'm still unclear as to why I should apparently be charging for it.

Just kidding! The name of this blog is very much tongue-in-cheek.

Yes, there are a lot of women out there giving away their "milk" for free. Dating in America in 2010 is probably even scarier than it has ever been. But, within the context of a loving, monogamous, two-sided, balanced relationship... there is no giving away of this "free milk." The days of the 1950's Good housekeeping "Good Wife's Guide" are over. But, the days of sleeping with as many people as possible until your soul is damaged beyond recognition should be as well.

It's all about balance. Be happy, healthy, and sweet.

Free Milk

In the summer of 2008, one of my best friends (Steph) called me to tell me that she would be bringing someone over to my apartment that night to hang out. She told me that he was cute, and young, and that I was not allowed to make out with him. I laughed and told her she was ridiculous. I had resolved myself to staying single and had decided that going through life on my own would be just fine. I had decided that the wedding that I had fantasized about as a 4-year-old was just that, a fantasy. I had decided that I would probably adopt kids on my own or even go for artificial insemination. I mean, I had really put a lot of thought into my future as a spinster. It wasn't that I was bitter or jaded. I had had some good, some great, some amazing, some bad and definitely some terrible experiences with men. I had dated some men who will always hold a special place in my heart. I had dated some that were downright scary and hopefully won't procreate. But, I was happy on my own. I had just landed a new job, changed my major to Psychology, and was having the time of my life. I was happy being single and happy just being myself. I had never been a "serial dater." Well, maybe I was a "serial dater"; but, I was certainly not a "serial monogamist." So, when I saw my friends Stephanie and Zack walking up the steps to my apartment with this "cute, young guy," it wasn't love at first sight. I admitted to Stephanie that he was cute while at the same time assuring her that I would certainly not be making out with him. After all, he wasn't my type and he was only 20 years old! (6 months younger than my baby brother). I teased my friend for even thinking I would like him... like that. Besides, I had been casually dating someone else who was in Mexico at the time. The last thing I needed was someone to divert my attention away from my lovely life of singledom. I had plenty of time to do everything I needed to do. I had a schedule and full life... a life too full for some guy.
A month or so later, I get a call from Stephanie. She tells me that he wants my number. She tells me that he is really crazy about me. It was like a switch had been flipped! I had not even considered this possibility since the first day Stephanie teased me about how I wasn't allowed to make out with him. Stephanie said "Aaron wants to take you out on a date. Is it okay if we give him your number?" "Fine" I said. And that was the beginning...

We went on our first date and saw the movie "Step Brothers." We laughed and he held my hand. He hugged me at the front door and didn't even go for a kiss. He was sweet and nervous. He made me feel safe and warm from the beginning. There wasn't a second date for a while. I did my best to push him away. We essentially broke up before we were even together.

Then, in the midst of a tragedy, I just needed a soft spot to land. I was sad and scared for one of my best friends who was having a tumor removed from her spinal column. I left the hospital where she was recovering from this very serious surgery and was in an unbelievable amount of pain. It was horrible... Why couldn't I get that guy out of my mind? The only thing I wanted was for him to hug me and make it all better. All I knew was that I melted into him. All I knew was that this person who was not much more than a stranger made me feel safe and warm.

Now, a year and a half and many ups and downs later, we're living the happily ever after. We're in love and have conquered some really tough times. He's the first person I want to tell when I hear something funny, and the first person I need a hug from when I'm worried or sad. He's the man who kisses away my tears, makes me laugh, and makes me feel like I'll bust if I get any happier. We're happy and so, so, so very blessed. We balance each other, are grateful for each other, and take care of each other.

Now, we live together. It's not something that I ever thought I would do. It's something that not everyone agrees with. But, it's what is right for us. We have a beautiful loft for an amazing price that is full of furniture and furnishings our parents have contributed to us. We have a fridge full of food and good beer. Most importantly, we have each other. (I know... you're probably ready to hurl by now. Sorry).

We're taking steps toward a future together. I can't imagine a day without him. I'm sure that either of us could be or would be okay and even happy if we had never met or if it had just not worked out. But, we're even happier and even more blessed to be together and to have each other. We've both grown tremendously and have a very bright, amazing future ahead of us. This is real. This is what it's all about. Life and love...